Emerging

So this past weekend, I had the extraordinary opportunity to perform a house concert. And it was a very special one for me. This was the first time that I have played live with a cellist, which was everything that I thought it would be. And I also had the privilege of being backed up by some exquisite percussion and bass. It was so fun to see my songs come to life in such a great acoustic setting, and the entire night was a lovely, intimate affair. Appetizers, wine, candles, and some very special people. One of them being a therapist that has walked me through some of the very darkest times in my process. It had been over 5 years since we had last seen each other as I had moved out of the area, and it was especially meaningful to have him there.

This has been a long road for me. When I first connected with my story, with all of its sorrows and riches, I could not have imagined that it would have brought me into such a long season of waiting. Anything is doable for awhile, but as the years kept turning, I began to doubt that any beauty would rise up from the ashes. I was waiting, writing, aching, crying, yearning, hoping, praying, learning, healing, wrestling - struggling to get to the other side of my “dark night of the soul.” And so this night was kind of surreal for me. It was the convergence and culmination of so many things, and in some ways, an emergence. These songs, birthed out of the deep sorrow, desire, and hope of my own life, have rarely been performed, and I felt my own inner excitement and trepidation. Fortunately, it was an incredibly gracious group of people and such a privilege to share my music with those that so fiercely and tenderly hold the stories of others.

As the evening came to an end and people were sharing some wonderful things about the songs and the music, I felt myself quaking on the inside. I was emerging. I was trembling. I was wobbly. I could feel my fear. I could feel my bravery. I could feel my sorrow and my tremendous joy. I was here. I was breathing. I was present. I was very much alive. I was seen. I was known. I was terrified. I was grateful…so incredibly grateful for all of it…and for the emergence.


1 comment

  • Lani Kent
    Lani Kent
    It was such an honor to be a part of such a transformative evening Jessica. Watching you emerge was a gift for this weary travelor. Your music... so real and intimate. My soul drank deeply. May you take in all the abundance and be nourished! Sincerely Lani Kent (and Dave)

    It was such an honor to be a part of such a transformative evening Jessica. Watching you emerge was a gift for this weary travelor. Your music... so real and intimate. My soul drank deeply. May you take in all the abundance and be nourished!
    Sincerely Lani Kent (and Dave)

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